Key ideas
“Don’t insist that what happens should happen as you wish; wish that things happen as they do happen. Then your life will go well.”
~Epictetus
- We will all face adversity in our lives. The Stoic practice of “Amor fati” offers a promising way to fortify our resilience, to bounce back from adversity.
- Amor Fati roughly translates as “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate.” In other words, moving beyond mere acceptance to embracing whatever circumstances life throws at you — even when those circumstances are terrible.
- Just as fire can be used to test gold, misfortune can test brave people. As Seneca said, “An untroubled life, in which fortune makes no inroads, is like a ‘dead sea.’ To have nothing stir you and rouse you to action, no attack by which to try to the strength of your spirit, merely to lie in unshaken idleness, this is not to be tranquil; it is to be stranded in a windless calm.”
- An “untroubled life,” as Seneca describes, rarely produces great humans who do great things.
Transcript
This episode is the third in a series looking at resilience: how we can cultivate our capacity to bounce back when hit with adversity. This episode will explore a perspective from Stoicism called “Amor Fati.” This simple mindset shift is a promising way to fortify our resilience.
Amor Fati roughly translates as “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate.” In other words, moving beyond accepting our circumstances to even loving whatever your situation in life throws at you. As the Roman philosopher Epictetus describes, “Don’t insist that what happens should happen as you wish; wish that things happen as they do happen. Then your life will go well.”
With this mindset, we seek to reframe our pains and frustrations, our setbacks and failures, looking at them as invaluable teachers on our path to growth. Embracing even the most dreadful of circumstances as if they were all part of your life’s plan.
So it’s a simple idea anyway. But one that might be a bit hard to accept in practice.
Especially when we think about how many ways life can suck sometimes. Whether it’s losing a job or a loved one, losing our home or our life savings, there are countless ways for things to go horribly wrong in our lives. How could we possibly adopt a mindset of “great, I’m so happy that I’m broke and soon to be homeless”? Or we might be in a toxic workplace or even a toxic society, rampant with corruption, oppression, and injustice. How can we just say, “hey, Amor fati!” All of this is fine and good?
One response to this reasonable concern is to look at the lives of the ancient Stoics. There are many stories of the Stoics having their philosophy tested by the worst of circumstances. For example, Epictetus was born into slavery but rose to be one of the most prominent Stoic philosophers. Gaius Musonius Rufus was another leading teacher of Stoicism in the 60’s — that is, like 60 years after the birth of Jesus Christ. Musonious Rufus was exiled by the emperor Nero to a deserted island, his wealth stripped away, and forced to leave his homeland. Imagine losing literally everything in your life and being forced to live alone — and without the internet for the rest of your life. That’s probably a close modern analogy to what exile must have been like. Rather than curse his misfortune, though, he used this time to practice his philosophy: embracing his fate, cultivating the virtues of self-control and courage.
Another story that embodies the “Amor fati” mindset comes from more recent history. Now, I’m not sure if Thomas Edison practiced Stoicism. But his response to what most people would regard as a massive tragedy would certainly make any of the ancients proud. One night in 1914, Edison’s factory caught fire, ultimately destroying the factory — decades of work, engulfed in flames. Edison’s son, no doubt in a hyperventilating panic as most of us would be, looked everywhere for his father. When he found him, the great inventor was calmly watching the flames. “Go grab your mother,” said Edison. “We’ll never see a fire burn as beautifully as this.” Everything he owned, countless inventions, and equipment turned to ash, and Edison said, “It’s all right. We just got rid of a lot of rubbish, all our mistakes burned up.” He was quoted in the New York Times as saying, “Although I am over 67 years old, I'll start all over again tomorrow.” Three weeks later, he had the plant up and running again, soon producing the phonograph.
While these kinds of stories can give us a sense of what’s possible, the ultimate test of any philosophy is to try it out for ourselves.
Daily life provides ample opportunity to practice Amor fati, because, well, life ain’t easy. You’re going to have setbacks, you’re going to fail, you’re going to lose something important. Can you find a way to use this moment? Is there something you can learn or improve? Does accepting and embracing this adversity help you to be a stronger person and better leader? Or would your life be better if there was no struggle?
To paraphrase Seneca: just as fire can be used to test gold, misfortune can test brave people. As he describes, “An untroubled life, in which fortune makes no inroads, is like a ‘dead sea.’ To have nothing stir you and rouse you to action, no attack by which to try to the strength of your spirit, merely to lie in unshaken idleness, this is not to be tranquil; it is to be stranded in a windless calm.”
A life of leisure doesn’t inspire us to action. Easy wins don’t build our capacity to tackle more significant challenges in front of us. An “untroubled life,” as Seneca describes, rarely produces great humans who do great things.
Now, I don’t believe that the “amor fati” mindset — or any other practice for that matter — is a magic bullet capable of overcoming any problem. Many people are faced with vastly more difficult lives than I can imagine. But it seems clear from countless stories of great people that many forms of adversity can help us grow into better, stronger versions of ourselves. Amor fati reminds us to embrace that adversity rather than curse our misfortune.
As Marcus Aurelius said, “It’s unfortunate that this has happened. No. It’s fortunate that this has happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it—not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it.”
No doubt, it’s much easier to start with the small stuff. We shouldn’t wait until the worst happens to practice Amor fati. You don’t just sprint out into a marathon in progress without training for months in advance. You start small and build up your distance over time. Likewise, to practice Amor fati we can start with relatively small frustrations or setbacks. Instead of being mad while stuck at a red light, we can be grateful for the moment to pause and take a calming breath. Instead of being pissed that things are closed because of covid, we can pick up a book that’s been languishing on the shelf for months. Every setback is a chance to practice this mindset.
And then, when bigger things fall on our heads, we have built some resilience. We aren’t as easily shaken. We stand taller, more confident, more capable of meeting major challenges.
Now hopefully, I won’t ever get exiled — or have the internet cut off for the rest of my life. But if this does come to pass, well, you won’t be able to see me anyway to check if I’ve lived up to this practice. But I’ll certainly do my best 🙂
Ok, that’s all for now. I hope this perspective from the ancient Stoics serves you the next time life gives you trouble — just remember Seneca’s thoughts on the “untroubled life.” If you found this podcast interesting, be sure to subscribe to check out more episodes. And please share this with a friend if you think it would be helpful to someone. Until the next time, be well!
Podcast soundtrack credit:
Our Story Begins Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/