Key ideas
For all the difficulties and drama of dealing with other humans, life and work are much better as a team sport.
- This episode kicks off a series about dealing with people. I’ll explore some perspectives from around the world and across time to find some insights into how we can get along and collaborate better with our fellow humans.
- We have plenty of barriers to effective cooperation, ranging from mild frustration to temple-throbbing infuriation. We will always face disagreement on specific ideas or approaches. We have difficulty finding common ground.
- And of course, then there are “enemies.” Especially in a climate of rising polarization, it’s easy to fall prey to “othering” — seeing people on the other side of the fence as so hostile that we might see them as barely human. They are the “other,” and they are wrong.
- Working with people, living with people, no doubt it’s not always easy. But we are social creatures; we need others to survive, to flourish. So in the episodes that follow, I’ll look at a variety of perspectives that can hopefully fortify our ability to not just get along but to truly enjoy our work with others.
Transcript
One thing is clear about major issues like climate change and the erosion of democracy: no one on earth has the power to solve these problems alone. The more complex the problem, the more we need to cooperate and collaborate our way to success.
Alas, sometimes that cooperation is not easy to achieve.
On the one hand, we hear the common refrains that nice guys finish last, or it’s a dog-eat-dog world or some variation of that. The hyper-competitive mindset of Western cultures, particularly American culture, certainly doesn’t lend itself to smooth cooperation. With each of us out for personal gain while thinking that everyone else is out for their own personal gain, the “zero-sum game, winner takes all” mentality prevails.
On the other hand, though, we often hear that teamwork makes the dream work. When we’re a part of a high-functioning team, with every member contributing value in a unique and complementary way, it can feel like an orchestra playing a masterful symphony. When this happens, we transform the zero-sum game mindset into a recognition that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We achieve great things, while each team member feels fulfilled through the team’s efforts.
Even if we’re lucky enough to be part of a team like this, though, it’s rare for this harmonic performance to last forever. Every team has its ups and downs. We will always encounter new conflicts and new barriers to collaboration.
And it’s a whole other challenge when the people you need to cooperate with come from a group that you strongly disagree with. People that have entirely different values. Opposing demands or positions.
Realistically, this is often the case for complex problems like climate change. Making any form of progress requires getting people, organizations, institutions, and nations on the same page — despite having vastly different agendas and perspectives.
This episode of the Changemakers’ Field Guide kicks off a series about dealing with people. I’ll explore some perspectives from around the world and across time to find some insights into how we can get along and collaborate better with our fellow humans.
We have plenty of barriers to effective cooperation, ranging from mild frustration to temple-throbbing infuriation. We will always face disagreement on specific ideas or approaches. We have difficulty finding common ground. We will always encounter people that we find difficult. Some folks might have a prickly personality. Or for others, we just can’t seem to click with them no matter how hard we try.
Sometimes there are significant power imbalances, such as a boss that is a relentless micromanager. Or even further, one who takes advantage of his subordinates and exploits them.
And of course, then there are “enemies.” Especially in a climate of rising polarization, it’s easy to fall prey to “othering” — seeing people on the other side of the fence as so hostile that we might see them as barely human. They are the “other,” and they are wrong, absolutely wrong.
People can be very frustrating, of this there’s no doubt. But for whatever challenges we might have in getting along or collaborating with others, I’m of the firm opinion that despite their... difficulties... people are also amazing.
Any of the best experiences I’ve ever had have been with friends, families, and even co-workers. My experiences as a father and a husband are the most rewarding of my life. While parenthood is the most challenging endeavor I’ve ever embarked on, it’s also brought more joy than any other thing I’ve ever done. There are definitely times that I fantasize about spending a week alone in a cabin in the woods somewhere. But having family and friends around has enriched my life experiences in a way that a million solo experiences never could. And I say that even emerging from multiple lockdowns living in a 600 square foot apartment with my wife and two young children.
Solo experiences and solo projects certainly have merit, and as a moderately introverted person, I greatly value solo time. But even the most spectacular activities or circumstances can be bland without people to share them with. For example, I had the great fortune to visit Machu Picchu when working in Peru several years back. It was an absolutely fantastic experience, there’s no doubt, a lifelong ambition realized. But despite the thousands of people around me, I didn’t know any of them. The half-smile on my face in the pictures betrays the solitude.
For creative projects, solo efforts likewise can be great, but I still think the results will never compare to team efforts. For example, while this podcast is currently a solo effort, I certainly don’t hope that’s always the case. I envision working with a team to create something much more expansive and impactful than I could ever do on my own.
And here’s a crazy, possibly controversial thought – I even enjoy spending time with people that I disagree with. This podcast is focused on exploring topics from numerous different angles. Listening to and seeking to understand the perspectives of folks with different mindsets and beliefs helps me understand any given topic much better than if I stayed in my comfort zone.
Working with people, living with people, no doubt it’s not always easy. But we are social creatures; we need others to survive, to flourish. So in the episodes that follow, I’ll look at a variety of perspectives that can hopefully fortify our ability to not just get along but to truly enjoy our work with others. To make the biggest and best impact we can.
Join me again next week as I continue this series. I’ll explore some ideas from Buddhism, Taoism, and Stoicism. I’ll look at some cross-cutting insights from the Axial Age. And from the modern world, I’ll look at some insights from psychology and the ongoing struggle for racial justice.
Be sure to subscribe for more episodes. And please share this with a friend if you think it will be helpful to someone. Until the next time, be well!
Podcast soundtrack credit:
Our Story Begins Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/